Changing the world with kindness

Imagine a world where everybody is kind. Not just nice — that’s easy. Real kindness where, with genuine consideration and understanding, differences are celebrated, bitterness is eradicated, and people choose to give more than they take.

Imagine what we could achieve. And imagine it all year round.

This world is one we want to be part of. Which is why the lab_ Christmas campaign this year is about asking people to look within and #FindYourKind.

Because isn’t it funny, at Christmas, there are a new set of rules?

For eleven months of the year we’ll be working hard, following rules, minding our own business, and being polite (usually). And that’s enough. Right?

Code of conduct: humble, respectfully distant, and careful not to upset the status quo. Smiles on, but walls up.

Then December hits.

We lose our carefulness. We break down those walls. We’re unabashedly jolly. We’re decidedly merry.

We’re kind.

Not to say that humans aren’t capable of kindness between January and November.

But Christmas kindness is different. It is open-hearted and uncareful kindness. It sings with strangers in pubs, and probably buys them a round. It says hello and even ‘Happy Christmas!’ in greeting to the person behind the counter in the local shop (the same person, for the rest of the year has barely had a nod in acknowledgement, probably). It buys homeless people dinner, and volunteers at shelters and food banks. It’s the kindness that gives more to charity than at any other time of year, regardless of the excessive hike in household outgoings.

It’s an epidemic. A magical one, and one that has created endless seasonal tales about the importance of giving the gift of kindness. From the Godfather of Christmas himself; Charles Dickens, and his infamous character Scrooge; to young Kevin Macallister from Home Alone, and his willingness to see beyond the face of a supposedly terrifying neighbour, to befriend who was instead a lonely old man, missing his estranged family during the holidays. And of course, perhaps the most defining and tear jerking moments of human kindness in storytelling history; an entire town turning up and turning their pockets out to help George Bailey in his time of need — the culmination of ‘A Wonderful Life’.

Christmas kindness makes us feel connected. The reason these stories are so stuck in our hearts is because, regardless of our background, language or beliefs, we all understand the emotion behind the connections we make with others. Especially the unexpected connections. The ones that we create, because we choose to see things in a better light. If only we just take a leap of faith and step out of our normal way of thinking.

But why does this seem to only happen at Christmas? What is it that keeps our kindness reserves back until it’s seasonally approved?

Yes, Christmas is bloody wonderful, but if every year we learn, and then rapidly unlearn true kindness, then are we really progressing? Small acts of kindness are great, but if that’s all they are; acts, and not embedded behaviours, then what will really come of us?

We know kindness to be important. Research says the tingly feeling we get from witnessing (whether on screen or in real life), or existing in these instances of kindness, is centred around the oxytocin hormone (also known as the ‘love’ hormone). Oxytocin plays a role in forming social bonds and trusting other people. It’s tied to making us more generous and friendlier, whilst also lowering our blood pressure. Yes, our bodies are created to need kindness.

And the need for these benefits of kindness on a much bigger scale feels more important now than ever. We know that mental health issues and stress levels are at an all time high, and there is daily evidence that we live in an increasingly fragmented and divided society; made up of labels, polarisation, distrust, and fear.

Are we, even equipped with the knowledge of the importance of kindness, still only choosing to see people for their face value and not the fellow human underneath?

It’s easy to see why our minds and hearts can feel weighed down. We have so much else to think about; work, bills, dependants, the bloody weather. The state of global politics.

We live in a society that arguably equates success to time and money. Kindness barely features beyond the realms of polite manners; it’s just not seen as important to get ahead.

“Kindness doesn’t pay the rent”.

Of course it doesn’t. That’s ridiculous.

Water doesn’t pay the rent either but we don’t turn up our noses at the necessity to hydrate.

We just don’t see the benefits of kindness as a step towards a different type of success. We don’t take the time to look around and see what we still have to offer the world in the best, most simple, human way.

Kindness.

There are already people in the world putting kindness at the forefront of their actions. Charities such as People United, Kindness UK, and many others globally have already recognised kindness as an agent of real change.

At the lab_ we’ve launched our own campaign, ‘Find your kind’; born from the team’s responses to our core question -“If you were free to change anything, what would it be?”

“Less unnecessary aggression”, “more understanding of each others’ differences” and “more time to do the right thing” all came up as different answers along a similar theme.

So we decided to do something about it.

So can we really kill the problems of the world with kindness? Faced with all of the above, it could be easy to see kindness as a soft, bleeding heart, idealistic approach to much scarier and more entrenched issues.

But we believe we can. By making kindness a conscious practice, increased human connections can make our differences seem smaller, put our troubles into perspective, and lead to our instinctive responses in times of stress to becoming less negative, and therefore less damaging.

We also don’t believe kindness is a soft approach. The charity People United, who use research to highlight the power of kindness in relation to arts and pro-social behaviour, say this on the effort to be kind:

“We need to think about kindness more than ever, not just as something soft and warm, but as something radical, strong and brave.”

The ‘Find your kind’ campaign isn’t designed to preach. We’re not asking people to apply for sainthood or begin a life of noble philanthropy. We’re not asking you to never feel vexed again if someone pushes in front of you, or requiring you to only say good things when your boss gives you an epic workload at 5 PM on a Friday. We’re all human.

What we’re proposing isn’t to avoid challenging subjects or situations either. The idea, instead, is that with kindness embedded into how we tackle problems, whether personal or on a societal level, it will bring about better results for everyone — better selves and better communities.

We all co-exist in one world, with many differences. The one thing we have in common is our potential for kindness.

Let’s use it.

So, because it’s Christmas, and because Christmas is a time to believe, we’re using the power of the season to kickstart the ‘Find your kind’ campaign.

But we want this to go on forever. We plan to keep the fearlessness of Christmas kindness with us all year.

Will you join us? #FindYourKind